Tolerance just won't go away. It keeps coming back. But somehow it is regularly taken to mean that one side must accept and condone everything. Somehow, in the liberal mindset, tolerance and open-mindedness have come to mean "anything goes." Over and over, I feel that I am being accused of closed-mindedness and intolerance, normally for the mere fact that I do not agree with them. Being open-minded does not mean that a person must be swayed easily. It means that a person is willing to listen and to accept that there are other opinions besides his or her own opinions. I am nothing if not a good listener. I will listen when I agree with you. I will listen when I disagree with you. But I will not be told that I must change my mind and agree with you. That represents neither tolerance nor open-mindedness. If we all hold the same opinions, tolerance ceases to exist because there is no longer any difference between us.
I keep coming back to a number of stories of intolerance that was demonstrated by those who are so vehemently demanding tolerance. Since when is driving by and urinating on a young woman appropriate or tolerant? This happened to a young woman in California who was out supporting Prop 8 in 2008. Since when is threatening various religious buildings appropriate or tolerant? Think: LA Temple, Salt Lake Temple, a cathedral on the east coast, and probably countless other buildings which experienced bomb scares and/or marches intended to shut them down and prevent worshipers from attending.
That said, there have been so many other thoughts on my mind today, as well. How many little girls have dreamed of being a princess, and as they grow older, of having the perfect princess wedding? How many young single adult women still cherish that dream? As I've considered things this evening, I've thought about how there are many characteristics that I do not allow to define me, though they certainly make up a part of who I am. (As an example, I am a little person, but that does not define me.) However, my gender does define me. It does not limit me in the things I desire to do. But it certainly defines me. I am a woman. I am a daughter of God. These are things that I have always been and will always be, through all eternity.
So why does it make a difference to me whether or not same sex marriage is legal? Well, there are many reasons. Firstly, Gods laws do not change, and I will put my trust in him and in His living prophets: "And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some,evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men,and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive" (New Testament, Ephesians 4:11-14). Prophets and apostles are here to teach and remind us of the doctrine of Jesus Christ so that we can avoid being tossed about by every whim and fancy of mankind.
It has been nearly eighteen years since the The Family: A Proclamation to the World was presented. It is not coincidental that we received it not long before the initial battle in defense of marriage began: Prop 22 passed in California in 2000. The words of the proclamation are just as true today as they were eighteen years ago. They are the words of God--a God who is unchangeable. It outlines clearly the responsibility of husband and wife (and even children!) within a family. It also contains warnings: "We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets." Do I want to see the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets? I think not! But do I believe they will come if we as a nation continue in our current course? Yes.
Can I be tolerant of those who differ from myself? Yes, of course. But remember, this does not mean accepting much less embracing their lifestyle. Elder Oaks put it beautifully in his talk Truth and Tolerance given two years ago in a CES fireside and reprinted in the February 2013 Ensign. Again, the timing (especially of the reprinting of the message) is no coincidence. It is a firm reminder that there are absolute truths: truths that will never change, regardless of the changing world around us. I can be open-minded. I can hear what others have to say. I can accept that their beliefs may differ from my own. But what I cannot do is step down and deny or fail to uphold the truths which I know. One of those is that gender is an eternal part of our identity, and that marriage between a man and a woman is God's commandment.
I also do not believe that the term "marriage equality" holds any value. You see, I fear the religious implications that legalizing same sex marriage could have. A few people have probably already read my earlier post Rites of worship, rights of (to) worship. If some people get there way, the rites of worship of many people (not just Mormons) could be taken. The government could argue that a church has no right to excommunicate a person based on sexual practices, and that any marriage allowed by law must be performed by a church if requested. Not only could they shut down temples, they could shut down all of our meetinghouses. Am I being extreme here? Maybe. But it is not an impossibility. As I said in that post, no one can take my right to worship, but government can, unfortunately, infringe on and take away rites of worship. It is no longer equality if my right to marry in the temple (to have my "perfect princess wedding," if you will) may be forcibly taken from me.
Occasionally I hear the argument that the Church is behind the times or that it has finally realized that speaking in the political arena is unwise. Guess again. Does anyone remember the Fourteen Fundamentals of Following the Prophet? #9: The prophet can receive revelation on any matter—temporal or spiritual. # 10: The prophet may well advise on civic matters. Add to this the fact that the Church issued a new statement today: Church Reaffirms Position on Marriage.... It is clear where our leaders stand, and as long as that is the case, I stand with them.
I have also seen other issues arise in the last week or so that would in some degree take away from the attention on marriage. Specifically I am thinking of the case of Ryan Rotela. He was in a class (at a public university!) where the students were asked to write the name "Jesus" on a piece of paper and then stomp on the paper. He refused and was subsequently suspended from the class. There is irony in this. First, as I already said, this is a public university and therefore should be required to treat students equally regardless of gender, ethnicity, religion, etc.; there is no religious or non-religious requirement for attending a public university. Second, this occurred in an Intercultural Communications course. Ummmmmm... WHAT?!?! Sorry, professor, you're doing a terrible job of teaching intercultural communications; tolerance, respect, etc., must apply to everyone, not just to the people who agree with you. Third, the school backed the professor in his decision, stating, "While at times the topics discussed may be sensitive, a university environment is a venue for such dialogue and debate." How was that? Dialogue and debate? Ryan Rotela offered dialogue and debate! Or is it like everything else? "Okay, students, this class is open to dialogue and debate, but only if you agree with me. I support diversity in my classroom, as long as you are just like me." That's not open or diverse!!!! That's the same-minded, closed, intolerant attitude we see in every arena. It is the attitude that is threatening our freedom of religion.
I am not by any means taking a stand to oppose any individual or group. I would never do such a thing. In fact, I could argue that there is regular discrimination against me: public restrooms where I can't reach to wash my hands (don't worry, I carry hand sanitizer pretty much everywhere), counters that are high enough that the person on the other side may not see that I am waiting for service, stairs that are way too tall (the individual steps, not necessarily the staircases), and countless other things. And in contrast to those who are demanding same sex marriage, I did not choose this. They have the ability to choose their lifestyle, to choose to act or not to act on their attractions. I can't change my height. So who really has cause to complain of society being intolerant?
Because of things that I have learned over the years, I believe I have become more (not less) tolerant of other people. But as I have already said, tolerance does not mean I agree with you or with everything you do, nor should it. Tolerance means I hear you, I understand that you are different, and I respect you. But I will never back down from defending truth and right. I cannot and will not fight against God. If you choose to allow that to put us on opposite teams, I'm afraid that must be so. I will not stop loving you. I will not stop praying and hoping that you will embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ and return to His team. But I will never stand down. Those few who read my blog know I have addressed this issue before; I am certain it is not the last time I will address it.
[As a final note, I learned today that Facebook is among the companies that has submitted a brief in support of same sex marriage. I have one friend at least who has chosen to leave because of it. As I have considered this evening, I have determined that there are two reasons why I will stay, at least for now: (1) I am not paying a cent to use Facebook and (2) I can continue to use Facebook to publish my views, including my support of traditional marriage and family.]
