Decisions, Decisions

To add to necessary decision-making, I have been debating whether or not to post these thoughts. I believe I will now, not because I want to complain or ask for sympathy (I don't!), but because I know there are others whose feelings are much the same as mine, though our individual stories differ. I've read some similar thoughts recently, and I've talked with friends and acquaintances whose feelings and desires are much the same.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about various things—specifically how my life has not necessarily gone how I had planned or hoped or dreamed. Now, I’m not saying that I’m unhappy with where I am or with the things I have been able to do. Honestly, my life is pretty good. And I know I’ve been able to offer help to family and friends, to join activities on the spur of the moment, to do many things that I might not be able to do if I had my dream and were a wife and a mother. However, as the days go by, I find that my greatest desire becomes more and more unreachable... and yet the desire has not decreased, and I also still feel that I would readily give up everything for it. Sometimes I feel a lot like Rapunzel in Tangled: “When will my life begin?” To paraphrase the title of a blog I saw early this week, I am happy with my life... but I also can't help feeling that there is something missing.

I think part of the reason I’ve been thinking so much is because I struggle with making major life decisions. Does anyone find it easy, though? And there are so many decisions I never planned on making alone…

I do realize that marriage is a major life decision, which impacts both the present and eternity. The difference is that I have always planned on making that decision. But as time goes on, I wonder whether I will have an opportunity to make that decision.

All through Young Women, we were taught the importance of marriage and motherhood. Education was also emphasized, and for me that was also a given. So until just before I turned 21, my life was pretty well planned out. Were there still decisions to make? Certainly, but they all fell within a track that I had always planned to follow. I left home to study, I enjoyed my time at school, and I completed my bachelor’s degree.

At that point, I still wasn’t entirely at a loss for what to do next. I had always considered serving a mission as a possibility at least, and sometime during my studies I began to feel strongly that it was what I should do. But this also brought its challenges. I was prepared to go and had my papers completed in early May 2004—three months before my 21st birthday. Because of circumstances outside of my control, I was not able to begin serving until July 2005. During that time of waiting, I often found myself wondering what my next step should be. What if it didn’t work out, despite the strong impressions I continued to have that serving a mission was the right choice for me? What was I going to do?

When I was finally called, it was as a service missionary in Family and Church History. Because of this (the timing and the fact that it was a service mission), my original plan was to serve for a year. This made sense, since I had graduated with a teaching certificate and would need time to find a job. But as the end of that year approached, I found myself once again faced with a decision, and nothing felt quite right. I looked at the options for teaching and sent out my teaching portfolio to a couple of school districts, including one where I knew there was a German teacher leaving her position. I never heard from any of them. I toyed with the idea of going back to BYU to get a master’s degree there. But I wasn’t sure of that, either. In the meantime, I received an unquestionable answer through the Holy Ghost that I was to extend my mission for another 6 months. I did that eagerly, knowing that there was a good chance I would never teach after that, and not knowing for sure what would come next.

Somewhere during that time, I also realized how much I enjoyed the work I was doing. I began to hope that there might be a small possibility of being hired on after my mission and continuing the work I was already doing. In this, too, I did not know anything immediately, although ultimately I was not disappointed. After extending my mission, I finished just before Christmas 2006. I spent the holiday with my family, and it was not until a day or two before coming back to Salt Lake that I received a call letting me know I would have a temporary (six month) position. Until then, I had once again been wondering where I would go and what I would do next.

Since I only had a temporary position, I tried to put out some feelers during those six months, watching for other job openings in the Family History Department (things I might actually qualify for…), as well as applying for a couple of openings at the public library. Again, nothing: not even a courtesy email or phone call to let me know I had not been chosen. I was searching myself, wondering again where I might be able to go next, hoping it would be somewhere I would enjoy. Thankfully, I was eventually hired on permanently, but I was again left hanging; HR actually extended my temp position by a couple of weeks, and at the end of that time, I finally received a full-time offer.

This sounds like a lot of blessings, and I will definitely admit that such is the case. But part of the reason this was difficult for me is because I had never really planned on looking for a career. My youngest sister asked me a few years ago, “When you were my age, did you know what you wanted to be when you grew up?” I told her no, but that wasn’t entirely true; my mom overheard and answered, “Yes. A mother.” And it’s true.

So here I am, and I’m facing another decision. One I never imagined having to make. I turn 31 next summer, which means the end of being a “young single adult” in the Church. So what’s next? I’m not eager to go to a mid-single’s ward. They’re too big, and I don’t want to feel like I’m required to have a car just to go to a ward, anyway. What then? I would love to be in a ward where I could serve in Primary or Young Women’s. But for where I live now, that would require special permission, since the family wards in the local stake are typically only for those who have families. I’ve seriously considered moving. But it scares me. Besides, right now I live in a perfect location for work, for many activities of various kinds, for attending the temple, for visiting the Family History Library, and so forth. If I move, I’ll have to commute to work. I’ll have to have much more careful planning for attending the temple and for any evening activities. I may have to get a car.

And so I feel a little lost. On the one hand, it would be really nice to buy a house, to have a place that is truly my own. On the other hand… well, let’s just say that it is not a decision I ever planned to make alone. And when it comes right down to it, there are so many things I wouldn’t be able to take care of on my own: from things as simple as changing a light bulb, on to bigger things like caring for a yard and shoveling snow.

So what do I do? Where do I go from here? As I’ve already said, I would willingly give up what I have now to marry and have a family. That has always been my dream. But it may never happen; I’m gradually becoming resigned to that, though I hate the idea of going through the rest of life alone.

Perhaps I feel a bit like Zacharias and Elisabeth, who say in the production Savior of the World that they have not given up hope, but that they have given up their demands. I can't demand that the Lord give me my desires--not even when they are righteous desires. But I can continue to hope and pray and trust in Him, that (to quote Zacharias and Elisabeth in Savior of the World again), "He will fulfill His promises... in His own due time."

Until then, I guess I have some decisions to make. Alone. Not without prayer. Not without seeking advice where I feel I need it. But still alone.

My own Advent Calendar?

Last year I looked for "Christmas good" during the month of December. This year, instead, I will make it an extension of the gratitude posts from November. However, as we approach our celebration of Christ's birth, instead of just expressing gratitude for anything and everything, I will specifically be looking for those blessings, each day, that come because of Jesus Christ.

1 December 2013. I am blessed to have been able to partake of the sacrament today (and each Sunday). Because of Jesus Christ's atonement and because of the covenants I have made with Him, I can repent, renew my covenants, and draw nearer to Him. "And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me. Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you" (New Testament, Luke 22:19-20).

2 December 2013. I am blessed to feel joy in the love of the Lord each day, to know that He desires my well-being and wants me to progress and draw nearer to Him. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved" (New Testament, John 3:16-17). "And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?" (Book of Mormon, Alma 5:26).

3 December 2013. I am blessed to be able to study the words of the Savior, Jesus Christ, in the scriptures each day--specifically right now in the New Testament--and to learn more of Him and of His divine attributes and of the path to eternal life. "Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life" (New Testament, John 6:67-68). "For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children" (Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 4:15).

4 December 2013. I am blessed to have the Gift of the Holy Ghost, to be allowed to have the Spirit of the Lord as a constant companion if I strive to follow Him. "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (New Testament, John 14:26-27). "And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things" (Book of Mormon, Moroni 10:5).

5 December 2013. I am blessed to have moral agency: the freedom to choose between right and wrong, to choose to follow Jesus Christ. This was Heavenly Father's plan, in which Christ volunteered to be our Savior. This is the plan I chose, and I am still blessed with this moral agency. "And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given. Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself" (Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 2:26-27).

6 December 2013. I am blessed to have the words of living prophets, from which I can study and learn. Prophets teach of Jesus Christ, testify of Him, and prepare us for His coming--the same now as in ancient days. "Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets" (Old Testament, Amos 3:7). "Search these commandments, for they are true and faithful, and the prophecies and promises which are in them shall all be fulfilled. What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same" (Doctrine & Covenants 1:37-38).

7 December 2013. I am blessed to live in a beautiful world, where I can experience sunrises and sunsets, seasons, and so much variety that contributes to the beauty. I know all light and beauty originates in Jesus Christ. "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth" (Old Testament, Genesis 1:1). "All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made" (New Testament, John 1: 3). "That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God" (Doctrine & Covenants 76:24).

8 December 2013. I am blessed to have music in my life--right now Christmas music, especially. This isn't as a big a stretch as it might seem. After all, Jesus Christ created this earth, including birds that sing. And he created us, humans, with voices, with the ability to create and play instruments. And in many, many instances, music is intended to praise the Lord. I know of no better way to praise the Lord than in song, which also lifts me and helps me feel nearer to Him. "Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power. Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness. Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp. Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs. Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals. Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord" (Psalm 150).

9 December 2013. I am blessed simply to be alive and to experience so many different things each day, to have the opportunity to learn and grow and progress and eventually to return to Heavenly Father. He placed me here on earth so that I can someday return to Him and become like Him. "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them" (Old Testament, Genesis 1:26-27). "For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Pearl of Great Price, Moses 1:39).

10 December 2013. I am blessed to be able to see, and especially to experience light. Sometimes I forget how important light is to my happiness until the dreary winter sets in again. Jesus Christ is the light of the world, through Whom all things are illuminated. It is significant that we celebrate the birth of the Light of the World during the darkest part of the year (at least in the Northern hemisphere). "Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life" (New Testament, John 8:12). "He is the light and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death" (Book of Mormon, Mosiah 16:9). "Hearken and listen to the voice of him who is from all eternity to all eternity, the Great I Am, even Jesus Christ— The light and the life of the world; a light which shineth in darkness and the darkness comprehendeth it not" (Doctrine & Covenants 39:1-2).

11 December 2013. I am blessed to see, receive, and give service. As with many things, Jesus Christ was the perfect example of service. Here are just a couple of illustrations of His service: "And great multitudes came unto him, having with them those that were lame, blind, dumb, maimed, and many others, and cast them down at Jesus’ feet; and he healed them: somuch that the multitude wondered, when they saw the dumb to speak, the maimed to be whole, the lame to walk, and the blind to see: and they glorified the God of Israel" (New Testament, Matthew 15:30-31). "And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude. And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full" (New Testament, Matthew 14:19-20).

12 December 2013. I am blessed to experience joy--other emotions as well, but especially joy! "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men" (New Testament, Luke 2:8-14). "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy" (Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 2:25).

13 December 2013. I am blessed to be able to breathe. I know this goes along with being alive, but sometimes I take it for granted. Then we experience an inversion, including terrible air quality, and I am reminded again of what a blessing it is that I can breathe. "And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul" (Old Testament, Genesis 2:7). "I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants" (Book of Mormon, Mosiah 2:21).

14 December 2013. I am blessed to find peace--an inner peace that comes from placing faith in Jesus Christ, even when all around us is uncertain. "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men" (New Testament, Luke 2:14). "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (New Testament, John 14:27). "Peace, peace be unto you, because of your faith in my Well Beloved, who was from the foundation of the world" (Book of Mormon, Helaman 5:47).

15 December 2013. I am blessed to be part of a ward (congregation) where we, as friends, can study and learn the gospel of Jesus Christ together and support one another in our mutual goal to return to our Father in Heaven. "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (New Testament, Matthew 18:20). "Behold, it is my will, that all they who call on my name, and worship me according to mine everlasting gospel, should gather together, and stand in holy places" (Doctrine & Covenants 101:22).

16 December 2013. I am blessed to be able to pray--to know that my petitions, in the name of Jesus Christ, will be heard and answered. In this same vein, I am blessed to know that while the answers may not always be what I want, I will receive answers. "After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen" (New Testament, Matthew 6:9-13). "Whatsoever thing ye shall ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive in the name of Christ, ye shall receive it" (Book of Mormon, Enos 1:15).

17 December 2013. I am blessed to be a small part of the work of salvation, including that of redeeming the dead--extending the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ to all people. "For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit" (New Testament, 1 Peter 4:6). "Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing. Let the dead speak forth anthems of eternal praise to the King Immanuel, who hath ordained, before the world was, that which would enable us to redeem them out of their prison; for the prisoners shall go free" (Doctrine & Covenants 128:22).

18 December 2013. I am blessed to be part of a community where people of various faiths join together in worship, each acknowledging Christ as the Savior and celebrating His birth. May we remember the things we have in common instead of focusing on our differences! "...They shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd" (New Testament, John 10:16). "And it came to pass in the thirty and sixth year, the people were all converted unto the Lord, upon all the face of the land, both Nephites and Lamanites, and there were no contentions and disputations among them, and every man did deal justly one with another. And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift" (Book of Mormon, 4 Nephi 1:2-3).

19 December 2013. I am blessed to have received ordinances of the gospel for myself and to be able to participate in these same ordinances again on behalf of others--helping them to progress, and being able to learn more myself. "Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?" (New Testament, 1 Corinthians 15:29). "Again I say, hearken ye elders of my church, whom I have appointed: Ye are not sent forth to be taught, but to teach the children of men the things which I have put into your hands by the power of my Spirit; And ye are to be taught from on high. Sanctify yourselves and ye shall be endowed with power, that ye may give even as I have spoken" (Doctrine & Covenants 43:15-16).

20 December 2013. I am blessed to have the commandments of the Lord by which to live my life--an unchanging standard by which to measure my commitment to my Savior and to His gospel. I am not perfect, but I have clear standards that allow me to see my progress and improve each day. "I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me" (Old Testament, Exodus 20:2-3). "If ye love me, keep my commandments" (New Testament, John 14:15). "Seek to bring forth and establish my Zion. Keep my commandments in all things. And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God" (Doctrine & Covenants 14:6-7).

21 December 2013. I am blessed to have truth, and to have the means to study and learn and come to know the truth. "Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (New Testament, John 8:31-32). "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me" (New Testament, John 14:6). "Now these sons of Mosiah were with Alma at the time the angel first appeared unto him; therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord; yea, and they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth; for they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God" (Book of Mormon, Alma 17:2).

22 December 2013. I am blessed with talents and the opportunity to share and develop them, often as a means of glorifying God, along with the ability to appreciate and enjoy others' talents. I know the talents in the parable in Matthew 25 were a form of money, but the concept applies to talents we develop in life, as well: "For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath" (New Testament, Matthew 25:29). "And all this for the benefit of the church of the living God, that every man may improve upon his talent, that every man may gain other talents, yea, even an hundred fold, to be cast into the Lord’s storehouse, to become the common property of the whole church-- Every man seeking the interest of his neighbor, and doing all things with an eye single to the glory of God" (Doctrine & Covenants 82:18-19).

23 December 2013. I am blessed to have the restored gospel in my life--restored through Joseph Smith under the direction of Jesus Christ. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed" (New Testament, James 1:5-6). "I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!" (Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith--History 1:16-17).

24 December 2013. I am blessed to be able to celebrate each Christmas Eve spending time with family, including listening to the story of the first Christmas as found in Luke--perhaps most especially the message of the angels to the shepherds, which clearly describes the mission of Jesus Christ. "And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men" (Luke 2:10-14). "Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets. Behold, I come unto my own, to fulfil all things which I have made known unto the children of men from the foundation of the world, and to do the will, both of the Father and of the Son—of the Father because of me, and of the Son because of my flesh. And behold, the time is at hand, and this night shall the sign be given" (Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 1:13-14).

25 December 2013. I am blessed to know of the eternal nature of families--that through the atonement of Jesus Christ and through covenants, I can be with my family not just for time, but for all eternity. "And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed" (Old  Testament, Genesis 12:2-3). "The Prophet Elijah was to plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to their fathers, Foreshadowing the great work to be done in the temples of the Lord in the dispensation of the fulness of times, for the redemption of the dead, and the sealing of the children to their parents, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse and utterly wasted at his coming" (Doctrine & Covenants 138:47-48).

26 December 2013. I am blessed to be a small part of the Lord's work, which continues to roll forth throughout the earth. "And in the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever. Forasmuch as thou sawest that the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands, and that it brake in pieces the iron, the brass, the clay, the silver, and the gold; the great God hath made known to the king what shall come to pass hereafter: and the dream is certain, and the interpretation thereof sure" (Old Testament, Daniel 2:44-45). "And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God" (New Testament, Acts 5:38-39). "Now behold, a marvelous work is about to come forth among the children of men. Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day. Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work; For behold the field is white already to harvest; and lo, he that thrusteth in his sickle with his might, the same layeth up in store that he perisheth not, but bringeth salvation to his soul; And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work. Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence. Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Amen" (Doctrine & Covenants 4:1-7).

27 December 2013. I am blessed to have parents, grandparents, and others who have taught me the gospel and faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ. "...When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also" (New Testament, 2 Timothy 1:5). "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days" (Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 1:1).

28 December 2013. I am blessed to know of the beauty of forgiveness (both giving and receiving), and of the peace that it brings, through the atonement of Jesus Christ. "And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee. And, behold, certain of the scribes said within themselves, This man blasphemeth. And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts? For whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and walk? But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (then saith he to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto thine house. And he arose, and departed to his house" (New Testament, Matthew 9:2-7). "Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds" (Doctrine & Covenants 64:9-11).

29 December 2013. I am blessed to see Christlike love manifest through His servants--through leaders here on earth, who show genuine interest and concern for their flock (His flock). "So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs. He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep" (New Testament, John 21:25-17). "Wherefore it came to pass that my father, Lehi, as he went forth prayed unto the Lord, yea, even with all his heart, in behalf of his people" (Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 1:5).

30 December 2013. I am blessed to enjoy the beauty and wonder of creation--today, specifically, animals both large and small. "And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. And the evening and the morning were the fifth day. And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so. And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good" (Old Testament, Genesis 1:20-25).

31 December 2013. I am blessed to see new beginnings: right now, the end of one year and the beginning of a new one. But there are also many other ways of beginning anew, including daily repentance. "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). "Yea, repent and be baptized, every one of you, for a remission of your sins; yea, be baptized even by water, and then cometh the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost" (D&C 33:11).