Notes from the Sister Kristen Oaks fireside

I know this Relief Society fireside was over a month ago, now, but I promised at least one person that I would share my notes. Things have been busy since then, and now I'm finally getting a chance to sit down and "share" those notes. Hopefully they'll make sense to others, as well, since my notes are often intended just for my own benefit. :)

Wheat is fungible (i.e. replaceable). We are not fungible. [This was in relation to the scripture "Satan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat.] "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God" (Doctrine & Covenants 18:10).

We are celestial beings having a telestial experience.

The only way we can distinguish the voice of the Lord from the voice of the world is through the scriptures.

We need to develop anticipatory forgiveness--be willing to forgive even before people say something.

Personal revelation is for those who libe close to the Lord. The life I am living now is the life the Lord wants me to live.

Self-worth cannot be based on whether or not we are married. It is difficult not to be chosen and to be asked why we are not participating in "the game." The problem we have is that we don't have the Lord's perspective. The purpose of this life is to come unto Christ, and He needs us where we are now.

We need to focus on building our testimonies and on developing kind and nurturing hearts, remembering we will be mothers in eternity.

Don't be afraid to stand up for who you are and what you believe.

As we make plans for our lives, we need to allow the Lord to become the architect for those plans.

When life doesn't go as planned, rewrite your dream. Even righteous desires may need to be rewritten on the Lord's timeline.

Going to the temple alone is not a consolation prize. It is a consummate blessing from our Heavenly Father. [Sister Oaks mentioned that some young women in their late 20s believe they still have to wait to go to the temple, because they are not getting married. She reminded us that the temple offers blessings to all of us.] The temple will make a difference in our lives!

Education--the more you learn, the better you'll be, and the happier you'll be.

Create a quality life in the environment we are in now. It is within our powers to create holy havens. [She pointed out that there is no reason to wait for new dishes, etc., until you get married. If you want them now, instead of having hand-me-downs from relatives, why not get them?]

Service is a great antidote and makes us less selfish and more concerned for others. It also makes us more flexible. Put yourself in a situation to serve other people when they need to be served.

Membership in the church is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience.

We need each other. Stay close to family and friends.

Respect the feelings and emotions we are given.

Keep soft hearts and do not become judgmental.

The single best thing we can do: Choose to be grateful. If we are always grateful, we will also be content.

Tragedy is the celebration for the human capacity to change. [Sorry, now I wish I'd written a little more here...]

If we do everything with an eye single to the glory of God, we cannot fail.

Do not be fungible. Be peculiar.

Doctrine and Covenants 135 (Be like the Prophet Joseph Smith--calm as a summer's morning.)

OK, these are my own words again rather than just notes. I think we all thoroughly enjoyed what Sister Oaks shared with us. The over-arching message I received was that if I am doing my best to seek and follow the Spirit and to come unto Christ, then I am where the Lord wants and needs me to be right now. As she said more than once--if we are still single, it is because that is the Lord's plan for us right now. It's nice to hear from someone who has spent most of her life single, who married for the first time in about 2000. She understands. But being single does not stop us from creating our own lives, from establishing our own identities, from progressing in the gospel and in the Lord's kingdom.

I did get to shake Elder Oaks's hand briefly before the fireside. He had just come back into town, but he wanted to be there to greet people, even though he didn't stay. I also loved the chance to sing "Grace" once more with our little women's choir. It's such a beautiful song!

So, for Mike Peck, who specifically requested these notes, and for anyone else who may find them interesting, here they are!

Time and eternity

Our sacrament hymn today gave me some new insight. I've really liked it ever since I woke up in the middle of the night, a few years ago, with it in my head. I didn't know it very well at that point, but after that I took the time to play through it and to memorize the words. Today I realized why I love its message so much. Here are the words of the hymn:

Oh thou, before the world began,

Ordained a sacrifice for man,

And by th'eternal Spirit made

An off'ring in the sinner's stead;

Our everlasting Priest art thou,

Pleading thy death for sinners now.

Thy off'ring still continues new

Before the righteous Father's view.

Thyself the Lamb forever slain;

Thy priesthood doth unchanged remain.

Thy years, O God, can never fail,

Nor thy blest work within the veil.

Oh, that our faith may never move

But stand unshaken as thy love,

Sure evidence of things unseen;

Now let it pass the years between

And view thee bleeding on the tree:

My Lord, my God, who dies for me.

As the sacrament was passed, these words kept running through my mind, and the concept of eternity began to make a little bit of sense. Jesus Christ was ordained before the creation of the earth to be our Savior. This truth is eternal. His priesthood, the same priesthood that is on the earth today, is eternal. His work and His love are eternal. I hope I can put some of my thoughts into words that will actually make sense to others.

The atonement, crucifixion, and resurrection occurred nearly 2000 years ago. But those 2000 years do not matter! Though Christ atoned for our sins at that time, the atonement is infinite and eternal. This hymn reminds us that because of the love of Christ, we can pass the years between now and then and partake of the atonement. The same holds true for those who lived and died before Christ came. It is as if He were atoning now for our sins. It is as if He had already atoned for the sins of those who lived before He lived on earth. It brings to mind Abinadi's words: "And now if Christ had not come into the world, speaking of things to come as though they had already come, there could have been no redemption" (Mosiah 16:6) and also of Alma the Younger's words: "...all is as one day with God, and time only is measured unto men" (Alma 40:8). Because of the power of God and His love for His children, He sent His Son to atone for all mankind: those who were on earth at that time, those who had already lived, and those who would yet live on earth. The atonement is real. As Amulek taught, it is the great and last sacrifice, infinite and eternal. It is personal. Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, which means He is my Savior. I am so grateful for this knowledge. I know that Jesus Christ lives and that because He lives, I will live again. After saying all this, I can think of no better way to end this post than in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Humorous Hymns

First of all, I want to say that after attending tonight's YSA meeting, I feel less skeptical and more excited about the upcoming changes. (I'm a little disappointed that I won't even be in the same stake with some of my close friends, but I know the change is inspired, and I'm ready to make the best of it.)

Secondly, I would not normally find either one of these hymns humorous, but taken in the context of tonight's meeting I could not help smiling/laughing.

The opening hymn was "Redeemer of Israel." The third verse reads, "How long we have wandered as strangers in sin/And cried in the desert for thee..." One purpose of the change to YSA stakes and wards is to offer only two options: a YSA ward or a local, conventional ward. In other words, they want to eliminate ward hopping. "How long we have wandered..."

The closing hymn was "Let Us All Press On." Much of the meeting was focused on staying in your ward/stake boundaries, making an absolute decision (YSA or conventional ward), and reaching out to those who may not be involved in the church at this time. They mentioned how the smaller wards would give more opportunity to serve, while the YSA stakes would offer opportunity to meet other young single adults. (And of course they mentioned that YSA wards are meant to be temporary, and that they want us all to "graduate." By creating more opportunities for us to meet people, they are hoping that this will happen for more people.) In any case, when they announced the closing hymn, I couldn't help laughing, and as the girl next to me thought about it, she also found it funny. "Let us all press on... fear not... courage..." Let's get out there and be active in our wards and reach out to others... and, as always, date and look for opportunities to marry.

Episcopalian Worship Services

I had a unique opportunity today. A women's choir from our ward got to join the choir women of St. Paul's Episcopal Church for their services. We sang "Grace" (an arrangement of "Amazing Grace" to the tune of "The Water Is Wide") as well as singing the other parts of their service with them.

For those of us used to LDS services, this involved a lot of standing up and sitting down. (It sounds like a small thing, and yet it was nice to be able to sit through sacrament meeting this afternoon.) But it's great to be reminded that there are many beliefs we share with other Christian religions. The readings from the Bible, the hymns we sang, the prayers from their prayer book, all point to Jesus Christ, to His atonement, to the fact that He is our Savior and Redeemer. To watch the reverence with which they approached the altar to receive Communion, a person could conclude that we are not so different. We are all children of God, though our forms of worship may not be identical.

I truly find it a blessing to have been invited to participate. I was grateful, also, for the accommodations they made for us. As part of their choir today, we did participate in the processional before the service (and the recessional following), but they only made a brief, token bow to the altar, and they did not expect us to follow suit. They did not wear choir robes today, either. And everyone was very gracious to us. The choir members felt that we were a necessary addition to their group today, and many people thanked us for coming. All in all, it was a wonderful opportunity to build relationship of trust and respect between both faiths.

I really am amazed at the sense of community in downtown Salt Lake, even between the various religions. There are many good people of all faiths who are striving to live a good life, to be good neighbors, to seek out and help those in need.

Especially at this Easter season, it is good to remember that there are others preparing to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is this miraculous event that gives meaning to mortality, that brings faith in immortality and hope in eternal life. Let us join, all Christianity, in celebrating the good news of the gospel: that Christ was resurrected, that He lives, and that He has prepared the way for us to return to Him.

A Gospel of Love

While some of these thoughts have been on my mind lately anyway, a friend's Facebook post prompted this discussion. It appears that there are many Christians of various faiths who believe that God hates sinners and will only love them when they have cast away their sin. It made me sad hearing that. "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). No one on earth is without sin. I am so grateful for a gospel that teaches that God loves all of His children!

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved" (John 3:16-17). God so loved the world. Not the prophets only, not the righteous only, not the Christians only. God so loved the world.

It is true that God does not condone sin: "the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance" (Alma 45:16, Doctrine & Covenants 1:31). But that does not stop Him from loving us, from opening His arms to us, from waiting for us to repent and return to Him. I imagine His feelings must be much like those of earthly parents, who feel sorrow when their children go astray, but who never stop loving their children. If God is unchangeable, and He so loved the world, surely He still so loves the world!

The atonement is the ultimate example of love. Jesus Christ laid down His life to redeem us from our sins. He was perfect. He had no need to repent, because He had no sin. But He made it possible for us to repent, to progress to return to Him.

The atonement makes forgiveness possible. It makes grace and mercy possible. Not only can I be forgiven of my sins, but through the power of the atonement I can find the strength to forgive myself and others, to progress each day, to do things that I could not do alone. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13).

This gospel is one of peace and love. It is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that He is my Savior, and that He knows and loves me as an individual. I am so grateful for the power of this love and for the strength and the hope that it gives me.

Oh, the workings of the subconscious mind!

I can't figure out why I keep having such weird dreams lately. Okay, so at least one or two of them were quite enjoyable--until I woke up right in the middle (not to my alarm!) and never did finish. Others of them have been rather bizarre.

Take last night for example. In my dream, I was on a day outing with my family. We were going to a museum or some such place, only it was out in the middle of nowhere. However, they had promised it wouldn't take all day, and that I could be home in time for dinner, because I had a date that night. I was excited to spend the day with my family, but I was really excited about going on a date with this particular guy.

Needless to say, something happened (I'm not really sure what), and there was no way that we were going to make it back. (That couldn't have anything to do with being out on the middle of nowhere, could it?) I pulled out my phone to text him and let him know I wouldn't be back in time and see if we could reschedule. However, as I pulled out my phone, I got a text from him...

The text said that someone (I was convinced it was his grandma, though I don't think the text actually said that) had fallen on her hand, "and whenever she falls on her hands..." I never did find out what happened when she falls on her hands, but judging by this statement, this was not the first time it had happened and there was a common result every time. Huh. In any case, he had to be with his grandma, so he was texting me to call off that night's date and reschedule. I was extremely disappointed about the date not happening, but I was also relieved not to feel stressed about getting back in time and to know that I would still get a chance to go out with him another time.

And that's about where the dream ended. Weird, huh? Any ideas as to what it might mean? (If anything...)

I have a dream...

I've been thinking this morning about what this holiday means, whether we call it Martin Luther King Day, or Civil Rights Day. In particular, I can't help thinking about the main message of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech ("I have a dream" begins at about 12:13). It seems to me that his main point was extending freedom to all citizens of the country, hoping for a better world for his children than he had known himself.

Isn't that every person's dream? Don't we all hope and pray that our children, born or unborn, will know a better world and greater opportunities than we have known? Today is not about winning rights for any one race. It is not about competition between races or individuals. It is not even about celebrating one man's dream. It is about humanity. It is about understanding that we are all one race: children of God--a God who loves us and desires our happiness. It is about learning to love one another, to look beyond the outward appearance, to see ourselves and others as God sees us. It is about becoming united for the common good, even as we celebrate our differences.

This dream for humanity has not yet been fulfilled. It is certainly better than when this speech was given, nearly 50 years ago. But the day must yet come when we will all join hands, as brothers and sisters, without regard to color, religion, size, shape, etc., and sing together, "Free at last! free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!" We need to be able to say, as Thomas Jefferson penned so many years ago, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." We need to mean it. The blessings of liberty must, in God's due time, be extended not only to our children, but to all children, to all people. Remember that the God "inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile" (2 Nephi 26:33). We, too, must open our hearts to receive all people as children of God.