I'm not sure I really understood before today what it means to mourn with those that mourn. It breaks my heart to think of a young man with a bright future whose life was taken prematurely, but even more so to think of those who are left behind. Until I began to consider things from a gospel perspective, it was hard to understand why I felt so affected. Jenn is a great friend, the type of person who is eager to do anything she can for anyone, but we haven't talked much since the singles' wards were reorganized last spring. I never knew Andrew. Why was I feeling it so strongly?
Perhaps it is partly personal experience. I never knew my own brother, Robby, in mortality, either. But I know what it is to lose a little brother. Of course it was a different experience, and I can't pretend to know exactly how Jenn and her family are feeling right now.
But I believe there is more to it than just what I have experienced. The more I've thought about it, the more gratitude I feel for Jesus Christ and for His gospel and His atonement. The people who were baptized in the waters of Mormon covenanted "to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life" (Mosiah 18:9). They did not covenant to feel sorry for each other, or to mourn for each other. They covenanted to mourn with each other. We also make this covenant at baptism. I just don't think I've ever felt it so strongly before.
It also turned my thoughts to the atonement. This is not directly my pain or sorrow, but it has been a very real sorrow today. In the same way, my pain and sorrow is not directly Christ's. But He has suffered all that I have and will suffer. As Isaiah prophesied: "He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed" (Isaiah 53:3-5). It is no coincidence that Abinadi had shared these verses just a few chapters earlier, in Mosiah 14. The Savior has borne any griefs, any pain or sorrow that we can feel. In becoming like Him, He asks us to bear one another's burdens, to mourn with one another. As He can lighten and remove our sorrows, so we can provide support for each other, lighten and lift burdens, answer prayers.
In short, we can learn charity. I remember the first time I heard someone present the idea that if charity is the pure love of Christ, there are still 3 possible (and all correct) interpretations: love for Christ, love from Christ, and love like Christ. In asking us to mourn with those that mourn, Christ is offering the opportunity to learn charity. We can begin to understand His perfect, unconditional love. But this is only the beginning. I cannot imagine how much He suffered, not just to experience my pain and to take upon Him my sins, but to take upon Himself the pain and the sins of all mankind. I cannot imagine how great His love is, how great our Heavenly Father's love is, for all of us as His children. I only know that my Savior loves me enough to have prepared a way for me to return to Him.
I am so grateful for the atonement and the resurrection, for the knowledge that because of the plan of salvation that families are forever. We will be reunited with those we love. I trust that the Tolman family is also finding comfort in this knowledge at this time. I am touched by the number of posts I have seen offering love, expressing heartbreak. I believe all of these people are reflecting back the love they have felt from this family in their own lives.
I hope and pray that the Tolmans may find peace and comfort in the midst of their sorrow and mourning. I pray also for the woman who hit Andrew. She must also be feeling great pain. I pray that we may all seek to reflect the love of God to those with whom we come in contact, that the same love may be reflected back to us at the times when we most need it.
I express my gratitude again for the atonement. I love my Savior and am so grateful for all He has done for me and for all mankind. I know that He lives, and that because He lives that I will live again. Andrew will live again, and he and his family will be reunited. We will see those we love again. I know that Jesus Christ has prepared the way for us to return to Him. We will also be reunited with Him and with our Heavenly Father if we will follow the example Christ has set for us. I know this to be true, and I find such peace in knowing there is purpose in both life and death. The day will come when our sorrows will be turned to joy.
