Sunday, January 27, 2013

Children are People: Remembering Janusz Korczak, a Hero of the Holocaust

Children Are People!
            Outside of Eastern Europe, much of the world knows little of Janusz Korczac and his orphans. A hero of the Holocaust, his name should be remembered throughout the centuries for his love, for his hard work to save the children he had come to love so much. But what led him to the desire to give these children the love and respect he believed they needed? Why did this man give up a potentially successful career to follow the deeper desire of his heart? How did he retain—or change—his identity, as he and his orphans dealt with the horrors of World War II and the Holocaust? The answers to all of these questions date back to Korczak’s childhood in his beloved Warsaw.
            Korczak was born to Jewish parents, but both parents were already completely assimilated into Polish society and did not practice the religion at all. However, his true name—Henryk Goldszmit—showed both their Jewishness and their assimilation: it was a Polish name, yet it was also “the equivalent of Hersh, his grandfather’s Jewish name” (Bernheim 5).
            Despite the absence of Judaism as a religion in the Goldszmit family, the Poles still recognized them as Jews, and they were treated accordingly. Thus, Henryk’s childhood did not start off happily; he soon learned that he could not play with the Christian children because he was Jewish, and that the same children also had learned that he was going “to hell, where it’s dark all the time” (Bernheim 13). Henryk never forgot what he heard from them. He hated the darkness.
            Only Henryk’s grandmother truly understood him, listened to him, calmed his fears. The child was intelligent beyond his years, wanting to see equal opportunity for everyone, regardless of who they were. Material possessions never made a difference to him; he would willingly have given up his toys in exchange for that which he wanted more—real friends. Concerning worldly possessions, he once asked his grandmother, “Why can’t we share?” to which she soothingly responded, “Ah, my little thinker. You’re too young to know, but that’s the way the world is” (Bernheim 15).
            And what was the child to think when his father had a nervous breakdown from which he never recovered, which eventually led to his death? The previously well-to-do family was forced to move into much humbler circumstances, which did not affect Henryk’s attitude or hopes, but he wished he could bring back the life of ease and luxury his mother had loved. He did not even miss the gifts his father had so often brought home, but simply wished he could continue to do such small things for his mother. He worked hard tutoring younger children, earning small sums of money, which he took home to his mother. The parents loved him because he was intelligent, kind, and patient. Even at this difficult time, Henryk sought to help those worse off than he was, coming home bruised and bleeding after helping another Jewish child escape his tormentors. It hurt him to see the hatred of the Christians toward the Jews, yet though he helped fellow-Jews in the face of their tormentors, he rejected the religion of his ancestors, and in fact all religion. But apparently he felt a willingness to allow others to practice (or not practice) their religion as they chose.
            Because of his own childhood experiences and his early ability to think and reason so clearly, Henryk hoped to be able to help others. He decided to fulfill the dream his father had had for him and become a doctor, so he attended medical school, first in Warsaw, then seeking further instruction in the more modern cities: Berlin, Paris, and London. During this time he met Stefa, another assimilated Polish Jew, also a unique individual, who shared many of the hopes Henryk did for the future of Poland and who eagerly took on the task with him to help him fulfill his dreams. (She was surprised to learn that this was also Janusz Korczak, the pen name Henryk found for himself in someone else’s work, whose literary works she and the rest of Poland so admired.) He saw the children as the future for Poland—the Poland he wanted to see created. He returned to Warsaw, where he decided to give up practicing as a pediatrician and create a home for the orphan children. He even explained what defines an orphan: “Children can be orphans, you know, even when their parents are living. If they never achieve what they might have been in their lives, then they are orphaned from themselves, and that is the worst loss of all” (Bernheim 66). His dream was not only to provide the physical comforts necessary for the well-being of these children, but to give them love and encouragement, to show them that they truly could become everything they dreamed they could be. Most of all, he wanted to begin to right some of the wrongs committed against children, emphasizing that they are people, too, and also have rights.
            These many thoughts and preparations led Korczak to create a children’s home—The orphanage, as it came to be called. He and Stefa both envisioned a much better Poland—free from Russia, accepting of all people, a land of which they could truly be proud. They both loved their homeland, but they also knew that circumstances made it an unfriendly place for Jews (and certainly for other minorities) to live. Korczak decided he did not want to marry and raise a family, but rather to focus on the well-being of those children already living—those children who would one day lead the revolution he envisioned for Poland, who would finally know the freedom and equality that Korczak alone could not achieve. What high hopes he had for the children! His books demonstrated the strong feelings he had about the rights and the potential of children. How to Love a Child and The Child’s Right to Respect outlined his beliefs, just as the titles of the books would suggest, explaining how children could govern and help in establishing rules for themselves. He also wrote a child’s book, King Matt the First, which quickly became very popular among all the children of Poland. It “tells of the adventures and tribulations of a boy king who aspires to bring reforms to his subjects” (Lifton 1). It is significant that it is the story of a boy king, for it reemphasizes Korczak’s belief that the future lies with the children.
            Korczak even wrote of the rights he considered most essential to the children, including the right to: love; respect; optimal conditions in which to grow and develop; live in the present; be him or herself; fail; be taken seriously, appreciated; desire, claim, and ask; have secrets; a lie, a deception, a theft; respect for possessions and budget; education or to resist educational influence conflicting with their beliefs; protest an injustice; a Children’s Court of peers and to be defended in the same; respect for his grief; commune with God; die prematurely (Lifton 38). He even implemented these rights in the orphanages, successfully helping the children to establish and run their own newspaper, court, etc., rarely interfering in matters of punishment, because he believed the children were capable of working everything out for themselves.
            The children also had very specific responsibilities. They helped in keeping the orphanage clean, each child always having his duties, the duties rotating periodically, so that each child learned to work. Even the youngest children would have been responsible for their own belongings—Korczak especially checked up on their shoes and their dishes, which the children were required to keep in best condition. School work was also not neglected, the younger children learning in the orphanage itself, the older ones attending school outside.
            Known as Pan Doktor to the children, Korczak did all he could for them. He was perhaps not as down-to-earth as Stefa, who remembered each child’s name, but he loved them all and sought to give them a fair chance in life. Of at least 450 orphans whom he cared for in his first twenty years running the orphanage, perhaps two percent went astray after leaving the orphanage, not living up to their full potential. Though he must have felt sorrow upon learning of the course these young lives had taken, he must also have felt joy at seeing such great success in his work.
            One of Korczak’s sorrows was the requirement that he leave his beloved children and serve in the Russian army. Yet it was because of this service that he made another friend in Kiev and eventually established a Christian orphanage, which unfortunately had to be kept strictly separate from the Jewish orphanage. It pained him to see the hatred growing even among these youngsters towards people who were somehow different from themselves.
            In working among the orphans, Korczak himself wore old clothes and a green apron that allowed him to do “real work” and was often mistaken by visitors for a janitor. “As he explained, ‘These days the color of excitement and revolution seems to be red, but I prefer green. To me, it’s youth and hope; the color of the future I want for the children.’” (Bernheim 74).
            Despite having rejected all religion himself, Korczak willingly allowed his orphans to practice religion as they would. He spoke only Polish in the orphanage, as the orphanage came to be affectionately called—never Yiddish and definitely not Hebrew. But he also invited a rabbi to come on holidays, providing a way for those who wanted to worship to be able to do so. He said, “You can raise a child without religion, but not without God” (Bernheim 93). Clearly Korczak had begun to see the importance of religion, if he had not recognized it already. Even having never practiced religion himself, having gained an education in the more modern world, Korczak willingly recognized the existence of God and His importance in the lives of the children.
            As anti-Semitic tension worsened throughout Europe, Korczak began to realize the fears that had caused his father’s breakdown. He and Stefa both visited Palestine during this time, observing life on a kibbutz, where several children formerly under their care now worked. Here they saw hope for a good future for the children—an opportunity to work, to live in a true community, to make something of their lives, to avoid the hatred they would otherwise face forever in Europe. Sadly this hope was never fulfilled.
Korczak with children (Jewish Virtual Library)
            While the two were still pondering whether to send some of the older children to Palestine, the Nazis invaded Poland and began to gather the Jews into ghettos. The orphanage was moved to the center of Warsaw with the rest of the Jews. Korczak sought all the help he could for the neglected orphans. Living packed like animals, many of the people began to behave like animals, so the weaker—especially the children—had no chance for survival without help. As was the case for many formerly assimilated Jews, Korczak found himself embracing the religion of his ancestors. He no longer spoke Polish to the children, but rather Yiddish, and even offered several small prayers he had learned in Hebrew. Would any other circumstances have led Henryk Goldszmit (in these circumstances, he returned to his given name and accepted his Jewish identity) to turn suddenly to the religion he had never known? Goldszmit—seen now again as a Jew, not as the famous writer Korczak or as a pediatrician—actually had the opportunity to escape, even to help the children possibly escape into homes (not without risk, of course), but he refused to leave his children even for a moment. He never knew what might happen in that brief moment, and after working so hard with them and gaining their trust, he would not leave them alone in danger. He prepared the children for the worst, helping them to hold their heads high in spite of everything they already had to face, and everything that might yet come. As portrayed in the film Korczak, this included creating a play to introduce death to the children so they would not fear it. The play taught them that death was a natural part of life, that it was not the end but only a new beginning. He considered committing suicide—he had the pills ready at every moment—but because of the children he loved, the children he would be abandoning, he could not bring himself to do it.
            Then of course there came the horrible liquidation of the ghetto. The children would be the first to go, because they were useless to the Germans as workers. Korczak had the option of waiting for a later deportation, or again even of complete escape through the help of friends, but again he refused. He could not leave the children he had come to love—he could not send them alone into the unknown. So with the orphans he loved, to whom he had attempted to give a new life with a fair chance, he traveled by train to Treblinka, where they were all gassed together. He must have wondered if this wasn’t for the best anyway, since the children would no longer have to experience the hatred the world held towards them. What hope could the world hold for these children? And how grateful the children must have been that the Pan Doktor stayed with them at this most dreadful time—that he went with them, even to death!
            Yet Janusz Korczak—Henryk Goldszmit—seemed always to hope for better, to want to find the good in mankind. Among the children, he had known that even the worst troublemakers simply needed love and the opportunity to improve. Surely the adult world needed the same thing! Surely they could also become as little children! His words demonstrate his hope for the future: “I cannot give you love of man, for there is no love without forgiveness, and forgiving is something everyone must learn to do on his own. I can give you one thing only: a longing for a better life, a life of truth and justice. Even though it may not exist now, it may come tomorrow if you long for it enough” (Sacks 1).
            One may question how it is that Korczak was able to work so well with the children, to understand their needs and desires. Some of his own writings demonstrate his respect for and understanding of the children. The first of these is his work When I am Little Again, in which the main character wishes to be a child again. An elf grants him his wish. Throughout the work, one sees the world through a child’s eyes and realizes that even as an adult Korczak had few problems understanding his beloved children. The first-person narration draws one into this child’s world, helping the reader to remember his own childhood and to recognize the truth of a child’s descriptions.
            Korczak provides two introductions to this work, one for adult readers and one for child readers. The one for the adult readers better explains what seems to be his purpose in writing the book:
            You say:
            –Dealings with children are tiresome.
            You’re right.
            You say:
            –Because we have to lower ourselves to their intellect.
            Lower, stoop, bend, crouch down.
            –You are mistaken.
            It isn’t that which is so tiring. But because we have to reach up to their feelings. Reach up, stretch, stand on our tip-toes.
            As not to offend.
Korczak

What better person could one want to raise a new generation of children? While others look on children as inferior, unable to think and reason in the same way as adults can, Korczak treated them like normal people, recognized their intelligence, gave them the freedom to learn and think and judge for themselves.
            The narrator, whom the author never mentions by name, continues to discuss some of the mistakes adults constantly make as viewed through a child’s eyes, and he realizes that he, too, made some of these mistakes. He describes watching a horse struggle to get over a patch of ice and hoping with all his might that the horse would make it. “If I were big, I’d walk right by indifferently and probably wouldn’t take any notice” (Korczak 16). How true it is that children are so observant, while adults seem to focus only on their own lives and often ignore the world around him. Or sometimes, if they do notice, they see only the negative: “when I was a grownup and I saw snow, I already anticipated that slush would follow. I felt the damp overshoes and wondered whether there would be enough coal for the winter. And joy—it was there too, but sprinkled somehow with ashes, dusty and grey. But now I feel only that white, transparent, blinding joy. Why? For no reason at all: because it snowed!” (Korczak 53). Yet Korczak did not ignore the world, nor did he ignore the beauty in it. In many ways, he was still a child himself, for he could see and think and love like a child.
            He describes another situation in which two girls are running and playing outside and run into a woman. They apologize, but “the woman pushed the girl so hard that she spun around. That was rude. After all, children are needed in the world, and exactly as they are” (Korczak 36). Why do we, as adults, so often expect that children should not be children? What right do we have to take their childhood away from them? Why can we not, as Korczak did, find a balance between giving them responsibilities and allowing them to be children? Yet the narrator describes further how adults will misunderstand one thing and suddenly begin to criticize a child on everything: “Button yourself up; why are your shoes covered with mud? Did you do your homework? Show me your ears. Trim your fingernails” (Korczak 47). How should one expect a child to respond to such demands and interrogations? “They tell us to respect them. But I wonder what for? They’re rude. The commandment teaches: ‘Honor your father,’ but not every grownup” (Korczak 80). Korczak certainly knew better; he taught his children through example, and especially through love, to be good members of society. His children respected him, not because he demanded it, but because he earned it. Cited in the film Korczak, as well as in several other sources, is the experience in which the doctor admonishes his medical students never to strike out at a child in anger. He takes one of the smaller children from the orphanage to his class, where he stands her behind the X-ray machine and allows them to see the pounding of her heart, telling them that whenever they are tempted to strike a child they should remember this little girl and the tiny heart pounding in fear and then decide if they should really strike.
            The narrator also questions why it is that children are always to blame. It seems to him that adults take the time to work out their problems completely, but they do not have the same respect toward children. “Why is this so? Why is it that so often we are punished without being guilty? Why is it allowed to punish a child unjustly and then to regard this as a trifle and not be required to answer to anyone for it?” (Korczak 64).  He cites several examples of this unjust punishment, such as: “The new hygienist found a louse on Kruk’s shirt. At once she began to admonish us. Not only him but everyone else…” (Korczak 151). Earlier in the story another, similar instance occurs: “There’s going to be a name day party, and the moths ruined her [Mama’s] dress. And so, children have to suffer because of what the moths did” (Korczak 75). How often are children punished for something they did not do, or treated unfairly because an adult is upset about something else. Again, Korczak was not this way, but gave children a fair chance. In fact, he did not even judge the children himself, but helped them create a court system in which they judged themselves! His children were able to resolve their problems without the interference of an adult. One sees also in the film Korczak how willing he was to trust the children. Shlomo steals a chocolate bar from another child but denies it. Although the viewer senses that Korczak knows the truth, that he knows Shlomo took the chocolate, it is the trust and love that Korczak shows that help Shlomo turn toward his real potential.
            The narrator also questions why parents interfere in relationships between their children. “It’s hard to reach an understanding with little children, because grownups interfere” (Korczak 78). At the slightest problem, a noise slightly louder than it has to be, a parent steps in and takes control (or so he/she believes) of the situation. Korczak, however, put more trust in the children and allowed them to work things out amongst themselves.
            One reads further about the mistake adults will often make of believing they are needed or can help, but that the children are not needed. For example, in watching a fire or some other horrible accident, “grownups too, like to run and gape—not only children. It’s as if they can be of use while they tell us: ‘Go away. You’re not needed here.’” (Korczak 112).
            Perhaps even more important than recognizing the mistakes that adults constantly make is Korczak’s ability to understand the way a child thinks and feels, to understand a child’s difficulties and joys. Again one notices that Korczak must truly have understood, because through his narrator he describes a child’s thoughts in such a way as to take the reader back to his own childhood. “It’s inconvenient to be small. You always have to raise your head. Everything occurs up high somewhere, above you. As a result a person feels less important, degraded, weak, and somewhat lost. Maybe that is why we like to stand beside grownups when they are sitting: then we can look straight into their eyes” (Korczak 30). Should adults, then, bend down when they are talking to children in order to be on the same level? Or does this only serve to make the children feel inferior again? Perhaps Korczak’s method of simply talking to the children as if they were adults, treating them with respect, is the best method. Then the child does not feel that someone is looking down on him, but can truly feel like an equal. Now that I’m a child again, it seems to me that history is unimportant, or the facts a person knows. What is really important, is how a person feels inside” (Korczak 41). It seems, then, that like Korczak, one should try to make the child feel that he is an equal, that what he thinks and feels and does is important, no matter how small it may be. “Children’s games aren’t silly; to uncover a secret, to show that something can’t be so well hidden that you can’t find it—that’s the whole point. The harder it is to find something, the more fun it is…. I was an Eskimo and a dog; I chased and was chased; I was a champion and also a hapless victim in an accident; an artist and a philosopher—life sounds to me like an orchestra” (Korczak 49). What an important thing the imagination can be, as well. In the film Korczak, one sees the doctor play ‘choo-choo train’ with the children upon returning home, and all the children—not just the youngest ones—join in eagerly. Korczak emphasizes the importance of being a child, of thinking and imagining, of playing. The imagination is not an escape, but a way of learning to see and understand the world, and he encourages such activities. The narrator further adds, “I don’t know whether we laugh more frequently than grownups do or not. But one thing is certain: their laughter says little while we understand perfectly. Sometimes our laughter says more than our words. A meaningful glance, a meaningful smile” (Korczak 65). One senses that adults have not really lost this ability to communicate without words, but rather that they believe that they can no longer be like children and therefore they must be able to express themselves only through words. Or maybe they have lost the ability to understand the laughter and smiles! But the children know: “we know better what bothers us; we have more time to think about and observe ourselves;we know ourselves better; we’re together more often” (Korczak 135). What if, then, like Korczak, we would take the time to ask the children if we do not understand what they are feeling? They can tell us, in spite of what we may think.
            The narrator realizes finally that being a child is not as easy as it seems, that adults do not recognize children as people. He describes their thoughts: “Children—these are future people. And so it’s a matter of their becoming, it’s as if they don’t exist yet. But indeed, we are; we live, we feel, we suffer” (Korczak 155). As he finally realizes this, the elf returns. “ He’s waiting. With a hopeless whisper—through tears: ‘I want to be big again. I long to be a grownup again” (Korczak 157). He returns to the adult world understanding the children, ready to change to make the world more comfortable for them. And the reader realizes that Korczak is much like his narrator, that it is through his understanding of children that he is able to give them so much, to love them enough to give even his life for them.
            Korczak presents other important concepts in his treatise The Child’s Right to Respect. “We learn very early in life that big is more important than little…. Size is equated with ordinary and uninteresting. Little people mean little wants, little joys and sorrows” (Korczak 161). How inconvenient the world is for children! Everything is designed for grownups, even down to the very thoughts of the world. Children’s thoughts and ideas are unimportant. “Why is it though, that there’s always a sense of a heavy load with them, as if they were an obstruction, an inconvenient addition?” (Korczak 167). So not only is the world inconvenient to children, children are also inconvenient to the world. But why? Why is everything geared towards adults? “Children account for a large proportion of mankind, a sizeable portion of the population, of the nation, residents, citizens—constant companions” (Korczak 174). How lucky the children were that their beloved Pan Doktor recognized them as important, as part of the society, not as future people, but as the people who are the future.
            Korczak’s childhood probably influenced his writings about children, both of which (his childhood and his writings) influenced his desires and actions as he later created his orphanages. His understanding of the thoughts and feelings of a child made it possible for him to love them all the more, and for them to love him. He was also thus able to prepare the children for the death he knew would come upon them and to go with them to death. Again and again he had the opportunity to escape, yet he knew better than to leave the children to face a frightening situation alone. One might look on Korczak’s actions as a great sacrifice, yet the film cites him as saying that there is no such thing as sacrifice. When one does something that the world looks on as a sacrifice, it is because he loves what he is doing and would not choose to do anything else. Korczak, then, did not sacrifice anything, but only spent his life doing the work that he loved.
Bibliography
Bernheim, Mark. Father of the Orphans: The Story of Janusz Korczak. New York: Lodestar Books, 1989.
Jewish Virtual Library: A Division of the American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise. 2003. http://www.us-israel.org/jsource/biography/Korczak.html
Korczak. Dir. Andrzej Wajda. 1990.
Korczak, Janusz. The Child’s Right to Respect. Trans. E. P. Kulawiec. Lanham, MD: University Press of America, 1992.
- - -. When I am Little Again. Trans. E. P. Kulawiec. Lanham, MD: University Press of America, 1992.
Lifton, Betty Jean. The King of the Children: The Life and Death of Janusz Korczak. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2002.
http://www.korczak.com/Biography/kap-0.htm
http://www.korczak.com/Biography/kap-38.htm
Sacks, Jonathan. “Learning to Sacrifice Our Hatred for the Sake of Our Children.” The Scotsman. Edinburgh, UK: 2003.
[Note: this is my work, though it includes citations where appropriate. Feel free to reference it as desired, but please give me credit for it. CSS]

Sunday, January 6, 2013

90-Day Book of Mormon Challenge

Today Bishop Cahoon issued a challenge (complete with a fresh copy and a reading schedule) to read the Book of Mormon in 90 days while raising the bar on scripture study. Here are the specific instructions he gave:

1. Start your scripture study with a prayer. Pray on your knees.
2. Set a pattern of when you will read.
3. Come with your questions, problems, and concerns of the day. (Give a purpose to the study and seek to learn what the Lord would have you learn.)
4. Look for teachings of and about the Savior.
5. Start a scripture journal. Record answers and impressions. Then you can go back to these notes and remember what you learned and felt.

A couple of other things that were mentioned (we had our December "5th Sunday" lesson today, instead, because most of the ward is back after the holidays, now) were the study of how long it takes to become an expert in something and the meaning of inversion and how to rise above the inversion.

For those who don't know, whether it applies to Bill Gates or the Beatles or any other expert in a particular field, the requirement seems to be 10,000 hours to become an expert. Bishop Cahoon suggested that the same applies to becoming an expert in the scriptures. Obviously we won't reach that many hours in a single year, but hopefully we will over a lifetime. We need to come to love the scriptures and to know the truths within their pages.

For anyone living along the Wasatch front, we experience at least one inversion each winter. The word inversion means a reversal of normal. Often, this involves colder air in the valleys and warmer air up the canyons and in the mountains. It also means that pollutants get trapped in the valleys; I could handle the cold better if my head and lungs didn't become so miserable from breathing all the pollutants in the air. And then there is the fact that whatever light reaches us has to filter through everything else in the air. The adversary also tries to create spiritual inversions, removing light wherever possible. Just as we can drive up a canyon to escape a physical inversion, we can also rise above a spiritual inversion. Through daily prayer and scripture study and living the gospel, we invite the light of Christ and of His gospel into our lives.

I am really excited for this 90-day challenge, which I began today. Part of it is the "challenge" of it: committing and then doing. Part of it is knowing that the rest of the ward received the same challenge. As we do this together, I believe we will become stronger and more unified as a ward. I also look forward to the personal spiritual blessings that I trust will come, including a greater outpouring of the Spirit and a greater love for the Lord, for His gospel, and for His children.

[As an additional note, if there are others who would like to join, feel free! Here is a link to the schedule: https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B5GibqiwenrtS2dxTUM1TFlCRTA]

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Welcome 2013

I haven't given much thought to what I want from this new year or what I want to do. I guess most of what I want relates to becoming: improving myself and becoming a better me. (Other desires and dreams I may have are at least partially dependent on other people.)

While we often think of a new year as time for goal-setting and for new beginnings, I am grateful that each day is an opportunity to begin anew, to try again, to be a little better. I was given a fresh view of repentance in sacrament meeting this week, and I love it. Because repentance means turning around, changing, coming nearer to God (the Bible Dictionary defines it as a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world), we do not have to do something wrong in order to repent. Repentance is about continually improving and drawing nearer to God as we do so.

In this sense, perhaps big, ambitious goals for the new year are not what I need. Perhaps what I need is simply a fresh view, a chance to refocus on the small things that are so important, even essential to my happiness and my spiritual well-being. This involves focusing and refocusing each day, evaluating my progress, holding myself accountable to myself and to my Heavenly Father each day. As I do this, I trust that I will also find an increase in the influence of the Spirit in my life--in all aspects of my life: work, schooling, callings, play, everything I do.

I believe Elder Bednar addressed what is going through my mind right now very well in his talk Pray Always, in which he suggests that each prayer should build upon the previous and be preparation for the next; as we address concerns in our prayers, our Heavenly Father will help us to improve through the guidance of His Spirit. We then report back to Him at the end of each day and recommit to try harder and continue to improve.

I am not suggesting that I need to make major changes to my life, nor am I suggesting that I am perfect (far from it!). Every mortal has room for improvement, or we would no longer be here on earth. ;) I just know that there is little chance that there will be major changes in my outward life this year: I have a good job, which I intend to keep, and I am still working toward a master's degree. In an outward, physical sense, my priorities will not change. But on a more personal, spiritual level, I can always improve, and I intend to do so.

I am so grateful for the scriptures and the words of living prophets to give us direction. I am also grateful for the Holy Ghost and the opportunity to receive personal revelation and guidance. I am grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ, which makes it possible for me--for all of us--to repent and improve and progress continually. And while I am grateful for a new year, I am also grateful for each new day in which I can study and learn and do and become better.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Peace on earth: can it be?

My heart aches today--for the children who were killed, for those who survived and will have to live with trauma of the violence they witnessed, for the families whose children will not come home to them. My heart aches as I think of unopened presents sitting under Christmas trees, parents who are burying their children instead of celebrating the most joyous time of the year. I can only imagine what those people are experiencing. But I know my own emotions have been overpowering: sorrow, anger, confusion. That is not to say that I have not also felt the peace of the Spirit. But I cannot comprehend how anyone could take the life of an innocent child, much less 20 of them. I pray for those whose hearts have been broken today, whose arms are empty. I pray that they may find some measure of peace.

I can't help but think how difficult Christmas will be for the families who are now in mourning. And it won't just be this Christmas. It will probably be every Christmas for the rest of their lives. Even for those who let go of any bitterness, there will always be a feeling of sorrow as Christmas approaches.

For this reason, and because of a question posed, "Where is the 'Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards Men?'" I found myself thinking of Longfellow's story and the words he penned "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day." Longfellow said:

And in despair I bowed my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."

Aren't we all feeling the same right now? Where is the hope for peace, when deranged men and women will take the lives of innocents? But the hymn continues:

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men."

There is significance to celebrating Christmas at the darkest part of the year--only four days after the solstice. We celebrate the birth of the Light of the World, our only hope for peace. As I thought about this, I also thought about the comforting words of Elder Bowen in this past general conference: "Because I Live, Ye Shall Live Also." His talk brought tears to my eyes then and still does now as I think about his words:

"Sometimes people will ask, 'How long did it take you to get over it?' The truth is, you will never completely get over it until you are together once again with your departed loved ones. I will never have a fulness of joy until we are reunited in the morning of the First Resurrection.

'For man is spirit. The elements are eternal, and spirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fulness of joy;

'And when separated, man cannot receive a fulness of joy.'"

They won't "get over it." Not in mortality. Those parents, those children who survived, so many people who were affected will not get over it completely in mortality. But the Savior's atonement can help ease their pain and provide some measure of joy. And ultimately, because of the atonement and the resurrection, their joy can be full again.

So many other thoughts have been running through my mind. The words of the apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 3, describing the perils of the last days. The words of Mormon writing to his son Moroni, reminding him of the innocence of children in Moroni 8: "But little children are alive in Christ, even from the foundation of the world..." (verse 12). And yet in spite of Mormon's reminders, much of his epistle focuses on the wickedness of the people. Everywhere we turn, it seems there is evil and darkness.

But as I was listening to Christmas music on Pandora, Bing Crosby and David Bowie came up singing "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy." The words were all the more significant today:

Peace on earth: can it be?
Years from now, perhaps we'll see,
See the day of glory,
See the day when men of good will live in peace,
Live in peace again.
Peace on earth: can it be?

Every child must be made aware,
Every child must be made to care,
Care enough for his fellowman
To give all the love that he can.

I pray my wish will come true
For my child, and your child too.
We'll see the day of glory,
See the day when men of good will live in peace,
Live in peace again.
Peace on earth: can it be?

Can it be? This "day of glory" would be the second coming of Jesus Christ, who will restore peace to the earth. Unfortunately, until then we will not see peace. We can seek to establish peace in our own hearts and homes: Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me. But true peace must begin with Jesus Christ.

Which brings me to another song that has been on my mind lately: O Come, O Come, Emmanuel:

O come, o come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Isn't this still our plea? We think of it as a Christmas hymn only. But does not Israel still mourn in lonely exile? Does not the Judeo-Christian world still look for the coming of the promised Messiah in clouds of glory? We still trust in Him as our only hope for deliverance. We look to Him as our only hope for peace.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

This is not just a Christmas hymn. It is a plea to God to send His Son. Though He came to earth as a baby, ministered among the people of Jerusalem and Galilee, and suffered and died to atone for our sins that we might all live again, both physically and spiritually--though He has already done all this, we still wait for Him. We pray for the peace that only He can offer. He will return to the earth, this time in glory. He will come to ransom His people, Israel. He will remove the darkness and despair and replace it with light and hope and peace. We can experience this to a degree right now, but we cannot comprehend the light and the joy we will experience when we are reunited with those we love and with our Savior and Redeemer. "O come, o come, Emmanuel!"

Till, ringing, singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Worship and tolerance

"We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." These words come from our 11th article of faith. How a person worships might, for some women, include wearing pants. I will not judge--it is not my place to judge--how another person chooses to worship.

On the other hand, those of us who choose differently--those of us who choose to wear a dress or skirt to church--should not be judged for that choice either. It does not mean we don't like women who wear pants. It does not mean we will ignore them. We will tolerate and even love them. Shouldn't we be able to expect the same? As I have said before, intolerance in the name of tolerance is still intolerance. Tolerance means open-mindedness, a willingness to love all people. Just because I do not agree with someone does not mean I do not love that person. And I don't expect everyone to agree with me. What a boring world this would be if we were all exactly the same and agreed on everything!

Which brings about an interesting question... What is equality? If equality means everyone is the same, I don't want it! Why should I want to be equal to men if it means being the same? I don't want to be "equal" to other women, either, if it's just defined as sameness. We are children of God. In that sense we are all equal. But we are individuals, with unique and wonderful characteristics. I don't want to give up who I am to join some agenda that seeks to equalize everyone. "And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you" (New Testament, 1 Corinthians 12:21). Every single one of us is needed, with our uniqueness. "If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?" (1 Corinthians 12:17). This is the beauty of the gospel. We can be individuals, and our individual identities are enhanced as we embrace and live the laws of the Lord.

I am tired of a small number of people claiming that they represent everyone--and specifically claiming that they represent me. I didn't like it with the "occupy" movement and the 99%, and I don't like it now. My frustration is not against those who choose to wear pants, but against those who suggest that if I don't, I must be submissive and willing to accept that I am somehow inferior to men. Obviously these people don't know me very well... I try very hard not to be judgmental, and I have never shunned a woman for wearing pants to church. I would appreciate the same respect in return. That is tolerance and equality.

I believe I can make myself more "equal" to men by embracing my femininity and complementing (LE, not LI) their masculinity. Think of how much we could accomplish if we each came with our individual strengths and shared those strengths as we worked together! If we were all the same, we would be missing out on a lot. The church runs well not because we are the same, but because we are different, and by bringing together our various talents we can help move the Lord's work forward.

The most important thing to remember is that the Lord's work will move forward. His team will win. The only question is, whose side will we be on? I don't choose to side with pants or with dresses. Neither can save me. I side with my Savior, Jesus Christ. He atoned for my sins and shortcomings, and only through Him can I be saved. If I choose to wear a dress or skirt, it is because I consider that a small way in which I can show respect to Him for all that He has done for me. It is because it makes me feel more worshipful. It is because I love Him. This one part of "how" I choose to worship, and as I respect others, I ask that they also respect me.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

December: Christmas good

I really enjoyed doing the daily posting last month, so I've been trying to decide how I might continue that into December. As we are celebrating the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, I thought it might be fun to look for the good around me, whether it be small acts of service or specific Christlike qualities. I won't mention names. I just want to be more observant and notice the good in other people. :) I wanted it to be a little different from the gratitude posts, though.

1 December 2012. This was rather a big one, actually. I saw the generosity of many people who had donated trees, and many others who had purchased the trees at the Festival of Trees.

2 December 2012. I noticed today how there were many people eager to bear pure, sweet, simple testimony of Jesus Christ and of His gospel. Because they did, the Spirit was able to speak to the hearts of all who were listening.

3 December 2012. I saw eager giving of goods and services to auction and even more eager giving of money in an auction to help provide Christmas for families in need. It is good not just to see people giving at Christmas time, but to see them so excited about it.

4 December 2012. I saw sweet humility in a request for forgiveness. It was unexpected and unnecessary (I saw/took no offense), but still welcome. It makes me want to be better, too.

5 December 2012. I saw people who prepared and then willingly shared their talents. More importantly, I saw people who were quick to extend the hand of friendship to others.

6 December 2012. I saw excitement in learning and specifically in making connections and beginning to put things in context in relation to each other. The glory of God is intelligence. :)

7 December 2012. I saw patience demonstrated even in little, seemingly insignificant questions and problems that continue to arise.

8 December 2012. I saw the sweet innocence of childhood in a tiny helpless baby and in a toddler who loves his baby sister and is eager to share with her and with others.

9 December 2012. I saw people willing to give of their time and energies to fulfill callings and to support each other, even when their time is very limited.

10 December 2012. I saw many people eager to give of their time and energy to serve at the Food Bank, organizing food items that will eventually go to those in need, while building and strengthening friendships.

11 December 2012. I saw friendly smiles and well-wishes exchanged between complete strangers. (This is one of the best things about the Christmas season!) I also saw two men prepared to give a priesthood blessing at a moment's notice (not sure to whom, but it doesn't matter). It made me think how wonderful it is to work in an environment where a person need not hesitate to ask!

12 December 2012. I saw many people uniting in agreement that the most important part of church is not making a stand but worshiping God.

13 December 2012. I saw the benefits of working together to solve a problem and come to a realistic solution.

14 December 2012. I saw many people with broken hearts, joining in faith and prayer on behalf of those--strangers--who are suffering following today's tragic elementary school shooting. It brings the spirit of Christmas and the importance of family closer to home.

15 December 2012. I was reminded of the importance of finding unity instead of division, focusing on similarities instead of differences, and loving and praying for all of God's children.

16 December 2012. I heard the story of the candy bomber, who brought joy to children of West Berlin, and saw the overwhelming response (a standing ovation) for a man who has spent his life serving God and country--and the people of the world.

17 December 2012. I saw a lot of good discussion and collaboration among coworkers. I also saw more giving in the form of carolers with goodies.

18 December 2012. I saw community (some Catholic, some Mormon, probably some Protestant) come together to join in celebrating the birth of the Savior through Christmas carols. This included the preparation of the children who sang and the beauty and love they shared with everyone there.

19 December 2012. I saw beautiful, sweet gratitude expressed. I also saw the joy that comes from joining together in singing Christmas hymns with those with whom we work. (Christmas music is always joyful, isn't it?)

20 December 2012. I saw people willing to give of precious time to serve in the temple. What a beautiful Christmas gift. :)

21 December 2012. I was offered a ride over taking public transportation. (I'm excited to try Frontrunner still, but it can wait. I'll take the ride and the company!)

22 December 2012. I saw a few drivers who were aware of and courteous to others on the road in the midst of crazy, last-minute-holiday-shopping traffic. (In Provo/Orem, even Saturday qualified as last-minute, since Sunday is out for most of Utah valley.)

23 December 2012. I saw a sweet boy ready to share his favorite toys with his baby sister when she was crying. In a couple more months, she might actually be able to take some of them. :)

24 December 2012. I saw the excitement of preparing Christmas for a small child, including watching a brief nativity movie, then Muppet Christmas carol, then fixing up a stocking and making the Christmas tree more accessible.

25 December 2012. I saw the excitement of childhood over Christmas day, and family togetherness (even if we were all exhausted). It makes me more excited to have everyone together for a bit.

26 December 2012. I was offered a ride to work instead of getting up super early to take Frontrunner from Orem. Awesome!

27 December 2012. I woke up this morning to already-shoveled steps out of my building. I was offered a ride home from the grocery store. (There seem to be a lot of rides!) Also, I saw people quick to help a fellow passenger on the bus know where she needed to get off to get where she was going.

28 December 2012. I saw how hard work paid off in creating fun lights at the zoo, and I saw friends happy to share their evening out.

29 December 2012. The best I can come up with today is "seeing" (through pictures) the excitement of my parents meeting their granddaughter. I was lazy and didn't go anywhere at all...

30 December 2012. I saw priesthood power exercised not only in conducting meetings but in sustaining and setting me apart to a new calling.

31 December 2012. Mostly I saw family togetherness. It was fun to have almost all of us (my brother-in-law, Alex, excepted) together.

The Book of Mormon--nearing the end of another year

I began this year with a blog post about what the Book of Mormon means to me, mentioning that there might be more posts to follow. Up to this point, there haven't been (sorry!), but after today's Sunday School lesson, I wanted to share some thoughts again.

The lesson was on Mormon 7-9, Mormon's farewell and Moroni's first farewell. Mormon's farewell in chapter 7 is only 10 verses long, but it is beautiful. He bears his testimony of Jesus Christ and of the atonement and outlines the first principles and ordinances of the gospel: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism, and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. So simple, yet so profound. He mentions the resurrection and the beautiful promises made to those who have repented and embraced the gospel of Jesus Christ.

One verse that really stood out to me is in Mormon 8:35: "Behold, I speak unto you as if ye were present, and yet ye are not. But behold, Jesus Christ hath shown you unto me, and I know your doing." I take this to mean that he did not just see our day, but that he saw me specifically and knew my doing. This could be a frightening thing, but it doesn't have to be.

Even as Moroni continues to describe the pride and hypocrisy and secret abominations of the latter-days, he does mention that there are a few who do not fall into this category. He saw the bad, but he also saw the good. What does that mean for us?

I can't help thinking that even as my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want me to return home to them, and as Jesus Christ has prepared the way through His atonement, crucifixion, and resurrection, that there are many others who are also eager for me to prove myself and to return home to my Heavenly Father. It's encouraging to think that a great prophet like Moroni is among them. Going back to Mormon's words in chapter 7 adds further encouragement. Mormon wrote that he wanted the people to "know of the things of their fathers" (Mormon 7:1, repeated in verses 5 and 9). While this is literally directed to the descendants of the people he had just seen destroyed and of the people he saw continuing to battle each other, I believe it is also directed to us--to me. As I learn of my ancestors and others who have gone before, particularly as I learn of their love for the gospel and for the Savior Jesus Christ, I also come to know that there are many people who have already passed on who want to see me succeed, who want to see me return to my Heavenly Father. I am not alone! Between the friends and family I have, on earth and in heaven, and as I rely on the atonement of Jesus Christ, I can reach my eternal potential. I have an amazing support system, even if I cannot see all of them! Someday I hope to be able to meet them. :)

In Moroni's farewell in chapter 9, he speaks of the works of God and reminds us that God is a God of miracles. How can we not believe, when we see His wondrous works each day? "For do we not read that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing?" (Mormon 9:9) And he continues, "Behold, are not the things that God hath wrought marvelous in our eyes? Yea, and who can comprehend the marvelous works of God?" (Mormon 9:16) I only need to look around me, or to turn to the Book of Mormon or other scriptures, to feel the power of God's love and to know that He is a God of miracles, that His hand is over all the earth, that He has a plan for me and for each of His children, that He loves us all!

As Moroni tells us, "For the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on, until all his promises shall be fulfilled." (Moroni 8:22) The Lord has made such wonderful promises to those who will obey Him! He will fulfill those promises.

As I sat in Sunday School today, the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon was reconfirmed to me through the Holy Ghost. There are so many who have sacrificed, both then and now, so that I can have the word of God today. I know that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. I know that it was written for our day. This becomes more clear as the turmoil in the world increases. I know that the Book of Mormon teaches us the plan of salvation and is a means to come nearer to Jesus Christ. I know that Jesus Christ lives, and that He is my Savior. I know that God is still a God of miracles. I find peace and joy in this knowledge. I bear this testimony in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.